I Solemnly Swear
by theShrew7
Summary: Fred Weasley, always the prankster, felt the sudden urge to pull off a spectacular prank, but he forgot the cardinal rule of pranking: always expect the unexpected. FHr
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hey guys! Story might start out a bit slow but no worries; it'll get better soon enough! Umm…. Well, this is my first fic so I hope all goes well. Read and tell me what you think! Suggestions and corrections are welcome.

Disclaimer: If I were J.K. Rowling, I would probably be rolling around in oodles and oodles of cash and celebrating (or perhaps lamenting) the end of my ever-popular series instead of writing little fanfics about romance and girly drama.

Chapter 1

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Dark ink spun intricate patterns across the crusty, yellowed parchment, showing the whereabouts of every soul on Hogwarts grounds. Though the map was filled with moving dots and miniscule writing, blue eyes cut across the map, immediately locking on one solitary dot labeled _Hermione Granger. _She was in her dormitory. _'Probably curled up in bed with her nose buried in an impossibly thick tome' _were his thoughts as a ghost of a smirk spread across his features.

He let his gaze slide over the map until it landed on yet another dot. This dot was labeled _Ronald Weasley_. Apparently, he was in the Great Hall next to his best friend, Harry Potter. _'Probably attempting to shove ungodly amounts of food into his mouth'._

Now, Fred Weasley loved his brother dearly, and would always be there for him if need be. But that didn't mean he couldn't have his fun. Ron is, and had always been, a prime target for teasing and mischief because he had the infamous Weasley temper but, unfortunately (or maybe not so unfortunately), lacked the cunning that most of his siblings possessed. He was also sorely lacking in tact.

Fred raised an eyebrow as he suddenly remembered a conversation he overheard while Harry was staying at the Burrow over summer. _Hmm… this could prove rather interesting…_ Fred began formulating a plan in his mind as he thought back to what he heard that one night.

-----------------------Flashback-----------------------------

Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley had been restless all week, anxious for the beginning of their sixth year. Unable to sleep, they decided to nip down to the kitchen to have a midnight snack and perhaps a good chat. What they didn't realize was that their voices carried, so much so that Fred Weasley, forever the light sleeper (sharing a room with a devious, trouble-making brother would do that to anyone), was roused from his slumber. Fred's curiosity was piqued and, half asleep, he trudged over to the hallway. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and, as he succumbed to a fierce yawn, stretched one long arm above his head and lightly scratched his stomach as his shirt was pulled upward.

As he turned the corner on the bottom stair, he was vaguely aware of someone bumping into him. Instinctively, he reached out, steadying her shoulders. Shaking his head a few times to clear the cobwebs in his mind, and blinking as he looked down into the face of one of his little brother's best friends. He scrunched his eyebrows together as he numbly realized that her cheeks were red and splotchy and that her big brown eyes were swimming in tears.

She shrugged him off, looking downward as she pushed past him and mumbled a soft, "Sorry."

"Um… no problem?" Fred replied, his voice still husky with sleep, as he ran a hand through his thick red hair and continued making his way toward the kitchen. What he heard through the door made him stop in his tracks.

"So… I gather you're not gonna ask her out?"

"Um. NO. I mean, she's a great girl and all, and I must admit I had feelings for her before but come on mate… surely I can do better!"

"She's not bad looking you know. And she's smart. Not to mention kind, giving…" Harry was cut off as Ron tried to defend himself.

"I know Harry, I know. Like, she's great. I know that. She not necessarily bad looking, but she's… plain? And come on, she's no Lavender… or Pavarti… or Hannah… or…"

"Ok yeah I get it. I know what you mean but just… just don't go and do something stupid yeah?"

"Yeah yeah sure. I'll be a good boy I promise" Ron rolled his eyes as he gave Harry an exaggerated annoyed look. "But hey… honestly… think I have a shot at Lavender? I mean… SHE is HOT."

--------------------------End Flashback------------------------

Fred walked to the Gryffindor tower, excited to set his latest plot in motion.

AN: I wasn't sure if I should have cut the chapter off here or not, but in the end, I decided that the next part would go better at the beginning of chapter two. Review!


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione was so absorbed in her book that she almost didn't hear the loud banging that permeated her room as someone pounded her door.

She furrowed her brow and leapt lightly to her feet, curious to see who would have the gall to disturb her (she was infamous for her Sunday afternoon reading escapades…the last person who disturbed her or, more specifically, the last time Lavender disturbed her, Lavender wound up with obscene amounts of hair in unusual places).

Squaring her shoulders, Hermione stalked up to the door, her mind set on giving her disturber and earful at the very least. She flung the door open and was surprised when, before her, stood none other than Fred Weasley. His fist was still up and poised, ready to knock, but he recovered in the next instant and promptly put on a dazzling smile, blue eyes shining and all.

"Hi." Fred said creatively.

"Umm… Hi?" Hermione gave him a skeptical look when another thought occurred to her. "How in Merlin's name did you get up those trick stairs?"

His smile grew wider in response.

"Ugh. Fine. Well… what are you doing here then?"

"Hermione, I have a proposition to make."

"Well what are you waiting for? Make it."

"I was getting to that. Don't get your knickers in a twist." He put his hands up and took a step back as she glowered at him. "I come in peace! I swear!"

"Fred! I was just getting to the good part of my book! Everyone knows Sunday is my privacy day! I really don't need you or your immature antics right now so please, _please, _would you just get to the point or go _away_!" Hermione half whined half ranted as he attempted to shove him out the door.

Fred, being a good head taller than her, and being more than fit due to years and years of Quidditch, simply grabbed her shoulders and pushed her gently to the side. He then proceeded to strut into the room and, glancing around, chuckled lightly to himself as he noted the vast contrast between Hermione's neat and orderly section of the room and her dorm mates' unmade beds heaped with piles and piles of shirts, skirts, makeup, magazines, hairbrushes, pads, underwear, perfume bottles, and so on and so on and so on.

He plopped himself on her bed, undoing in two seconds the carefully made, wrinkle-free bed that Hermione spent fifteen minutes perfecting.

"Fred!" Hermione cried out, exasperated with the uncontrollable redhead. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to get all those blasted creases out?!"

"All those blasted creases eh? And what exactly were you doing to make all those blasted creases?" Fred wriggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Hermione strode, heels clacking on the wooden floor, across the dorm, and promptly proceeded to smack Fred on his arm. _Infuriating bastard; he thinks he can get away with anything; I can't believe so many girls in this school are head over heels for this red little… little… _thing. _Stupid bimbos. I mean, I get it, he's rather good looking, but he's so maddening and insensitive that everything just cancels out anyway._

Just the thought of all the pranks he's pulled on her over the years was enough to make her raise her arm and try to whack him again.

"Hey hey watch it there." Fred caught her arm in midair, pulling her close, too close, Hermione thought, before he finally let her go. "Now before you get the idea in your head to assault me again, although I wouldn't mind if you save some of that feistiness for later, we need to get down to business.

"Just spit it out Fred. I don't have all day you know."

"Liar. You've been reading your damned book the entire day!"

"Mind your language lest you enjoy slow, painful torture. Besides, how would you know anyhow?"

"Hmm… I'm beginning to think that feistiness isn't a mood for you… it's more of an all the time thing. But that's beside the point. You, my dear, forgot something very very important. I, Fred Weasley, am one half of the proud owner of the much coveted… _Marauder's Map!_ Yep. Feel a bit silly for forgetting now don't you?"

"Would you please just get on with it!? Either that, or get out! Personally, I would very much prefer the latter."

"You wound me Hermione." chuckling, he put both hands to his chest and leaned back onto the bed, giving her his infamous puppy dog look. "Anyway," he sobered amazingly quickly, and rolled over to his side, his head propped up with his left hand as he stared at Hermione. "Like I said before, this has been fun, but we gotta get down to business."

He didn't wait for her to respond as he continued, "Will you be my girlfriend?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Um. Excuse me what did you just say?" Hermione tilted her ear in Fred's general direction with her eyebrows furrowed. _I probably just heard him wrong._

"Will you be my girlfriend." Fred slowly pronounced out each word clearly, nodding his head with every syllable.

Fred smiled to himself as he sat back in her bed, arms behind his head, and watched Hermione's face change from one of utter confusion to one of complete disbelief, which then changed into one of guarded suspicion. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards and eventually spread into a cocky and amused grin.

"You know, I expected more manners out of you. It's very rude to leave a friend's question unanswered. Moreover, it's very rude to stand there gaping like a fish while not answering the question."

Hermione promptly shut her mouth, crossed her arms, and looked away from Fred's smarmy face. "Then pray tell, what _is _the proper response to such a big and, might I add, totally random, question like the one you just asked me?"

"Well… Since I _am _Fred Weasley, a total hottie with a body (with this comment Hermione scoffed and rolled her eyes), one would expect you to jump and whoop for joy… or perhaps run into my very toned very muscular arms and ravish me. And just for the record, I would have preferred the latter." Fred winked and his grin morphed into a flirty smirk.

During Fred's teasing, he stood up and made his way over to a very wide-eyed and affronted Hermione. He simply raised his eyebrows at her deer-in-the-headlights look and traced his fingers up and down her arm.

"What do you think you're doing" Hermione pulled back and rubbed her arm where Fred's fingers had just been. _Who ever knew he was so tall. Well I suppose I should have expected it, Ron is nearly six feet tall… though Fred does seem to have a few inches on his little brother. _Hermione shook her head to get her hair out of her face and to clear her mind a bit. "What are you playing at? You come into my room out of the blue, invite yourself into my _just made _bed and ask me to be your girlfriend? …A –Are you on drugs Fred?" a skeptical look graced her face as she processed the possibility that Fred was simply high on something. _It would make a lot more sense. _

Fred burst out laughing.

He clutched his side as he doubled over at Hermione's question. "What makes you think I'm on drugs?"

Hermione just gave him a pointed look and walked past him to sit down on the bed.

"All right. All right. I get it. I know it's weird but I promise I have a legitimate reason for asking you to be my girlfriend. Not that I'd need a reason. I mean, have you looked into a mirror lately? You've grown into quite the dazzling young woman. Sweet smile… bright eyes… wild sex hair –and you've certainly filled out quite nicely…"

"_Fred!_"

Fred just shot her an innocent-what-did-I-do-wrong look.

"Would you just get to the point? Please." Hermione grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her body –she was a bit self-conscious now because of Fred's little remark.

"Okay, well, we all know that our dear ickle Ronniekins can be a pain in the arse at times."

"Language please."

"Right, sorry. Well anyway I overheard a conversation a few weeks back, when you and Harry were staying at the Burrow."

Hermione hung her head, her mouth slightly agape, as she realized which conversation Fred was referring to. "Oh."

"Umm. Yeah. Look I don't want to make you uncomfortable but Ron was completely out of line that night. Even though he didn't know you were there that was a really callous thing to say. And it was completely untrue if you don't mind me saying. In any case, it just so happens that I owe Ron a…. a… _favor_… of sorts. I just thought that if the two of us can manage pretending to be a couple for a while, it would be just smashing. It would A) piss the crap out of my dear brother B) shock everyone seeing as the two of us would never have been considered a likely pair C) get the simpering girls of Hogwarts off my back, trying to get me to date them and D) get my mum off my back for never having settled down with just one girl for a while. As for you my darling, you'd get the pleasure of seeing Ron's head explode." Fred finished his proposition with a broad grin and a twinkle in his startling blue eyes.

"Okay."

"Okay? That's it? No argument, no questions? Just okay?"

"Just okay." Hermione shot a quick glance up towards Fred before she looked back down and smiled a small smile as her imagination ran away with thoughts of a tomato-faced Ronald with steam coming out of his floppy, oversized ears.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Thanks for the reviews :

"_What in the bloody hell is he doing?!" _Ron's face turned a nasty shade of crimson, clashing horribly with his mop of red hair, as he squeezed an unfortunate banana in his vice-like death grip.

Harry was too busy trying to avoid the bits of mashed banana that were squirting out of Ron's left hand to really pay much attention to the interesting pair sitting a little ways down the table. "Hey… Ron? Mate? What are you so worked up for? They're just eating breakfast. I would have thought you'd like your best friend making friends with your brothers."

"If I had _normal _brothers, that wouldn't be a problem. However, you seem to have forgotten that my brothers, _that one over there in particular_, are infamous for playing rude, crude, and oftentimes just plain lewd pranks and hoaxes." Ron stopped just long enough to catch his breath before emphasizing his next point. "_Not to mention, _Fred and George are known to have broken more than a few hearts at this damned school. In fact, ever since they've hit their growth spurts, they've been turning girls down left and right. Well, actually, Fred's been turning girls down left and right. George is such a sneaky prick that he's been toying with the girls! He throws them a cheeky grin and they fall head over heels. I don't know what it is they see in that prat; they all know that he's not one much for commitment. And that's putting it gently!"

"Umm… all right then… sorry?" Harry grimaced as he wiped a spot of banana mush off his glasses. He waited a few minutes to make sure Ron wouldn't burst before he tried to make Ron see some sense. "You know, Ron, Fred and George really aren't as bad as you're making them out to be… you know that. And you never seemed to have a problem before with them dating around ever so often. Besides, Hermione's a big girl and can take care of herself. It's not even like they're dating or anything. It's just breakfast mate. They're probably just talking about Ancient Runes or something anyway, seeing as the two have that class together."

Harry suddenly found his eggs and bacon very interesting as he avoided the daggers Ron's eyes were sending his way.

Fred smirked as he turned his gaze away from his dear brother and back to Hermione. "He's jealous already and we haven't even done anything."

"Done –done anything?" Hermione furtively glanced back and forth between her "new boyfriend" and her fingernails. "What is it exactly that we're supposed to do again?" she gulped and tried to look completely cool and collected. _Oh God, I'm such a dolt. I can't believe I didn't realize that we'd have to really act like a…well, a _couple_. Well, I suppose I could always back out of this. I mean, it's not like we're doing anything _too _out of the ordinary. It's just breakfast anyway. Of course, Fred would take the mickey out of me… _She glanced over to where Ron and Harry were seated and immediately cleared her head of any thoughts she had of backing out. Ron's face was all it took to make her straighten her back and lift her chin. _What am I doing? This is the _perfect _opportunity to get rid of my plain, bookwormish image. Perhaps after this whole charade is over I could even get a few guys to glance my way without it being about homework help. Besides, Fred really isn't too hard on the eyes, yeah… not hard on the eyes at all. _Hermione ended up looking up into his face; she hadn't decided yet whether his eyes were dark blue or ocean green before he grinned a lopsided grin and said, "Couple-y stuff. Like this."

He grabbed her chin lightly with his fingers, bent down slightly and kissed her lightly on the cheek, lingering a bit longer than necessary.

He then took her hand, pulled her up from the bench and walked out of the Hall.

Ron's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Thanks for all the reviews guys! I promise I'll try to make the chapters a bit longer from now on! OH! And, I just searched "I Solemnly Swear" and discovered that this title isn't as unique as I thought it was ( sigh… oh well. Anyway! Read and Review!!

After Fred had led Hermione out of the Great Hall and into an unused classroom, the pair burst out laughing.

"Did you see Ron's face?"

"He could have given Trelawney's eyes a run for their money!"

"I could have sworn Harry had banana gunk in his hair… poor chap."

"Not to mention _Lavender. _She's had her beady little mascara-ed eyes on you for the longest time. It's kind of nice having someone like her be jealous of someone like me. I mean, she's flaunted her boyfriend-of-the-week in front of me more times than I can count." Hermione scoffed and rolled her eyes, a slight twinge of jealousy in her voice as she thought back to Ron's comment on how "hot" Lavender was and how… "not" Hermione was.

Fred crinkled his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side as a new idea sprang to mind. "Hermione… as I've said before, you're really not hard on the eyes, at all. You may be a bit on the plain side, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Just because you don't dress like a, to quote my mother, "scarlet woman", doesn't mean that you're ugly. What's more, I have, being the smart twin, a brilliant idea!" Fred ignored the skepticism that was evident on Hermione's features. "I'll do something, something BIG. Something to try to get your attention, but you'll reject me! I mean, that is to say, you play hard to get. You make it difficult for me. But I'll keep on pursuing you. It'll drive Lavender mad knowing that the boy she wants is so desperately after _you. _Well… not _too _desperate mind you; I've still got a reputation to maintain after all… In any case, that'd really piss her off … AND… it'd make our story more believable… AND… it'd really confuse my dear brother. I've never really pursued a girl before and he knows that. He'll go insane trying to figure out what exactly happened that made me so head-over-heels. Plus, he likes you, even if he doesn't think much about your appearance. He's probably just too much a coward to pluck up the courage to admit it. Anyone with eyes can see. That is, except for you my sweet. But your innocence is beside the point. The point _is,_ it'd make him _beyond _jealous. The stupid prat."

"Um. Right." was all Hermione managed to choke out as the tried to wrap her head around her current predicament. _What the devil? Ron likes me? I sincerely doubt it. It doesn't matter anyway. If he really does like me, as unlikely as it is, he missed his chance. I_ _am _completely _off redheaded boys with thick skulls and an unhealthily large appetite. _

"Now we just have to work out the specifics." Fred trusted that Hermione would gather her wits quick enough, so he sat and made himself comfortable in the teacher's chair, tilting so that the chair was balanced precariously on two legs. He locked his fingers behind his head and closed his eyes. "Ah… payback is _sweet_. You'd think my brother would have already learned not to mess with me."

Oh I totally forgot about the whole revenge thing. I wonder what Ron did to merit such extravagant scheming. Whatever, it doesn't look like Fred wants to tell my anyway.

"What are your favorite flowers?"

"Huh?" Hermione had been so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice Fred pull out of his little daydream.

"What are your favorite flowers?"

"As cliché as it might sound, I am quite partial to red roses. According to the Victorian language of flowers, a red rose represents love and respect. Why the sudden interest on my taste in flora?"

"Duh. I'm your boyfriend. Or rather, I'm your boyfriend-to-be. Besides, didn't you listen to what I just said? You know, about the whole pursuing-you-grand-gestures thing?"

"Oh. That. Of course I listened… I just… didn't make the connection." Hermione tossed her hair over her shoulder and looked away flustered. "Well then what's it going to be? Your grand gesture I mean."

Fred scoffed. "Like I'm really going to tell you. It's supposed to be a surprise!"

"What?! Why? I don't like surprises. Besides, this is just pretend anyway. So why can't I know?"

"Because that's not how I operate. And because I like seeing you all bothered and such." Fred smirked his smarmy smirk before getting up and making his way to the door.

Arms crossed, Hermione just stood there glaring at the back of Fred's head.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Hey. Forge!" Fred called out to George as he elbowed his way through the throng of students and made his way down the hall. "How are we doing on the newest product eh old boy?"

"Quite well I should think. Now, my dear Gred, have you found a girl to test it on yet?"

"Not to worry, I got it all covered."

Fred looked over George's shoulder and smirked a small smirk, a devious glint in his eyes, as he watched a certain sixth-year girl make her way to class.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hermione rolled her eyes as Lavender chirped incessantly in her ear about how _SleekEazy's _is out to get her because their new line of shampoo completely dried out her hair. She is now, apparently, going to write a stern letter to her father, telling him to sue the company. Hermione somehow managed to tune her out (she'd had plenty of practice, considering she'd shared a dorm with the chatterbox for a little over five years), and noticed the Weasley twins standing at the end of the hallway just before she turned into her classroom.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: What'd everyone think of the movie?! I watched it in Imax –the battle scene was crazy  I went to the nearest bookstore this morning to sign up for getting the book at midnight; I fully intend on staying up the whole night reading it so no one will ruin it for me (I waited a day [a day! to read Half blood Prince and someone told me the ending. Ugh. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the update (if anyone's even going to read it since the Deathly Hallows is out tonight too haha)

"Fred!" Hermione shrieked and jumped up out of her bed, her book falling to the floor in the process. "Stop doing that!" she half glared half pouted at him, angry for being disturbed yet again. He found that look absolutely hilarious, and just a little bit adorable.

"How do you do that anyway? Boys aren't allowed. Unless… well, unless you're keeping a secret from all of us…" and impish gleam lit her eyes and she pointedly dropped her gaze, then flicking her eyes back to his face.

With one eyebrow cocked upward, Fred scoffed at the insinuation. "Oh Hermione, questioning my masculinity… my my how you wound me so." Fred rolled his eyes as he drawled on, making it painfully obvious that he thought her attempt at poking fun at him was, in fact, pathetic. However, he decided that, since she dropped a perfect opportunity into his lap, hey might as well use it.

"Whatever shall I do now? Perhaps I can do something to change your mind…" as Fred teased her, he slowly walked forward. Hermione took a step back with each step Fred took forward. Her eyes flitted about, a faint blush gracing her cheeks. She was not familiar with the art of flirting and teasing –her only interaction with boys stemmed from hanging out with Ron and Harry, who undoubtedly saw her as no more than "one of the guys" and treated her as such.

She was obviously flustered.

Hermione began to panic –_what is he playing at?! _She was seriously considering running from the room but, just as the back of her knees hit the foot of the bed, she was saved by the sound of the door knob turning.

She came to her senses and immediately pushed Fred into the bathroom. She then proceeded to run and jump –or rather, fly –into her bed. The door was nearly all the way open when Hermione had the presence of mind to snatch her discarded book off the floor and prop it open on her lap.

"Hermione?" Parvati Patil pranced into the room but stopped suddenly on the way to her nightstand. "Why is your book upside down?"

Hermione was, to say the very least, at a loss for words. She donned a "deer-in-the-headlights" look, eyes wide as saucers, and began fumbling for an explanation.

"All that studying and bookworming finally got to your mind I'd wager. Are you all right? You look rather flushed."

"Oh. No. I'm perfectly fine thanks." Hermione managed to squeak out a response. Just when she was beginning to pull herself together, she heard a noise coming from the bathroom and immediately tilted her head toward the door. What she saw made her eyebrows snap together –half in fury, half in confusion.

Wearing nothing but a fluffy white towel (Hermione's favorite one no less) dangerously low on his hips, Fred swaggered back into the room.

"Hey love, have you seen my pants anywhere? I can't seem to find them. And I'd be loath to put on my trousers without pants –it's dreadfully uncomfortable, and it tends to chafe. Besides, we both know what a shame it would be if I…" He trailed off as he "noticed" that they were not alone in the room.

"Why didn't you tell me we had company dear?" he wasn't at all bothered by the fact that he was giving a very surprised Parvati an eyeful. He made his way over to the bed where Hermione sat, frozen, and lay down beside her. He stretched his limbs out as he turned his face towards hers.

"You know, you're a very bad secret-keeper; inviting me over when one of your dorm mates could show up at any moment. I thought we were supposed to keep our relationship private for now? Unless the risk is a turn on for you" he smirked up at her, twisting his body slightly to face her, a hand running leisurely up her leg. "If that's the case. I heartily approve."

Her mouth formed a small 'o' as realization dawned upon her. Her eyebrows had yet to separate into their individual arches.

Her immediate instinct was to deny everything and tell Parvati that she had no idea what Fred was going on about. That is, until Fred slid up her side and whispered into her ear "This is perfect groundwork for our plan."

She whispered back, "What happened to taking it slow? You know, the whole pursuing-me-big-grand-gesture thing?! What happened to that idea? I liked that idea!"

Parvati, feeling dreadfully out of place, and feeling a sudden urge to speak with every sixth year girl she could get her hands on, left. "I think I'll just leave you two… alone." She exited the door with a wink and a thumbs-up at Hermione, and sneaking one last glance at Fred's Quidditch toned physique.

"What did you do that for?!" Hermione all but screamed at Fred.

"I was improvising! I have no intention of hiding away in the privy for the rest of the afternoon. I do have things to do you know! In any case, I am still planning on going along with the original plan. I mean, how many people are going to believe Parvati anyway? She's one of the biggest gossips this school has ever seen! However, what her chirping _will _do is get people to start thinking about the possibility of the two of us being… _involved_." He slid his hand a bit higher on her thigh and brushed his lips against her neck.

Shivering, and more than a little disconcerted, Hermione shot out of the bed, her book falling to the floor yet again. "Stop doing that!"

"Doing what?"

"T-tea –Ugh! Whatever! Just. Just warn me before you go putting on another show next time all right?"

"You really are a very entertaining female." With that, Fred flicked his wand and, now fully dressed, _Accio_-ed his broom and flew out the open window.

AN: Reviews are more than welcome 


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Who else thought that the Deathly Hallows was absolutely fantastic? Well… most of it anyway if you know what I mean [ Besides that one little blip, I thought it was the perfect ending of the Harry Potter series. I honestly did not think it was going to be that good because everybody had such high expectations and there was so much hype. The epilogue was beyond cheesy, but it was sweet all the same. Anyway, I'm going to try and squish out another chapter despite a serious bout of writer's block [. Thanks so much for all the reviews! I love 'em all! Even though they make me feel guilty if I don't write for a while… which I haven't done and I apologize for… haha.

Hermione, suitably aggravated by Fred's previous actions, was dreading leaving the privacy (and safety) of her dorm –excessive and extravagant gossip regarding Hermione's love life was bound to be flying around the halls of Hogwarts by now. Lavender was still infamous for having spread the news of Eloise Midgen's nose job (it was now perfectly centered) within an amazing seven minutes and eighteen seconds.

However, it was now time for dinner, and as she had already skipped lunch, her stomach was grumbling quite loudly in protest.

Still sitting on her bed, attempting to put off the inevitable confrontation with a certain hot-tempered Weasley that had an odd obsession with balls and broomsticks, she slumped back against the pillows on her bed and tried to read her book. A deafening roar from her stomach told her that she wasn't going to get anywhere without feeding her poor tummy first.

She got up, straightened out her uniform –a white blouse and a black pleated skirt –slid out of her fuzzy bunny slippers, and walked down the stairs with her head held high (she could at least fool everyone else into thinking that she was aloof and confident… even if she was embarrassed and self-conscious).

The minute she stepped into the common room, she was bombarded with questions that seemingly came from a mob of red hair.

"Fred!!!" Hermione strode down the corridor, heels clacking, as she hunted down the mischievous joker who got her into this predicament in the first place.

"FRED!!!" she slammed open the doors to the Great Hall and immediately zeroed in on a lanky lad with a head of auburn hair and made a beeline straight for him. She grabbed him by the sleeve of his uniform, pulled him up out of his seat, and dragged him out of the Great Hall. Since all she saw was red (figuratively and literally), she didn't notice the eyes of every student in the Hall following their procession back through the still open doors.

"As much as I enjoy being manhandled by a feisty, albeit a bit irate, woman half the size of me, I have to ask: 'Have you gone mad?'" Fred said all this in a tone one would use when conversing about the weather… the bloody weather! This, of course, only served to further infuriate the girl hanging onto Fred's sleeve (it would likely be ripped clean off if Fred doesn't say something to placate his 'girlfriend/lover/wife/friend-with-benefit/any-of-the-other-rumors-flying-around-the-school')

Once he registered the fact that his joking manner was getting him nowhere (or rather, rolling his already-shaky-relationship with Hermione backwards), he put a gentle hand on the iron grip on his forearm. "Hermione, what's the matter? Seriously, wasn't the whole point of this charade to get Ron to see that you're more than just a homework-doing-note-taking-helper-out-of-sticky-situations-might-as-well-be-a-guy-best-mate?"

"Yes and that sounds all well and good but _it didn't work out the way you said it would. _I was an idiot for agreeing to this stupid thing! I can't believe I –do you have any idea what they said to me?!"

"Well I –"

"They started going on about how friends don't keep secrets from each other, how they didn't know if they could trust me to be honest with them anymore, how I was being stupid for falling for a player like you, how I'm a whore for _having sex _with you, and that's just the beginning of it! I can't even _begin _to tell you how they reacted to all the _rumors_!!! Did you know that, according to certain fourth year girls, we have two illegitimate love children –twins of course –and are secretly planning on eloping on Halloween? Oh and you also saved me from my previous relationship with an abusive boyfriend, GEORGE! UGH! First of all, —"

"Wait, who's they? Well of course they're twins; it runs in the family! Wait… huh? _George_? Wha—"

"I can't believe that they'd believe all the rubbish they hear around these bloody halls. Secondly, —"

"You cursed!"

"I can't believe they're so angry at me for having a relationship with something other than a book!"

"I'm just a 'something' now? Eh, that's OK as long as the sex is good. Wait… books? You're kinkier than I would've guessed."

"FRED SHUT UP CAN'T YOU TELL I'M TRYING TO RANT!?"

"Yes dear." (Thinking to himself: _You know you're in a relationship when you start listening to your woman_)

"If I wanted to screw around with you, it should be my decision. They have no bearing over my life! It's not like they ever listen to what _I _say, why should I have to listen to them? Ron especially. He only notices me when he needs help with homework, or wants me to find out what some girl thinks of him. Ugh! And I can_not _believe he called me a slut for being with you! It's not like he hasn't _gotten around _over the past few years. That's another thing! He's squeezing his title as "Harry Potter's Best Friend" for everything he can get –nailing Harry's leftovers! It's revolting! The fact that I ever liked him is absolutely mortifying. I am _so _ashamed. I mean, sure, his red hair is rather fetching, but other than that, there really isn't anything to say about his looks. As for his _personality_, there's nothing there! He has absolutely _no substance. _Bah!"

"You think red hair is fetching eh?"

"FRED! QUIET!"

"Yes dear." (_And the relationship begins._)

AN: Sorry Sorry, I know it's short, but I have been battling a rather vicious bout of writer's block \. I hope it's still all right? But anyway, I'm definitely not gonna abandon this story. It might just take a bit to convince my imagination to come back. Reviews'll definitely help! wink wink nudge nudge hint hint 3


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